<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Pause On The Threshold by KellerTur</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27029647">Pause On The Threshold</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KellerTur/pseuds/KellerTur'>KellerTur</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Multi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:22:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,378</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27029647</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KellerTur/pseuds/KellerTur</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"You take everything far too seriously, Remus." Sirius paused in front of the curtains, pulling one back and taking in the summer heat streaming through the bay window. For a moment, Remus stood in the shadow. Remus wants to leave as soon as possible; Sirius is in no rush. Explicitly mentions RL/NT but open to RL/SB too? Please leave a review, this is my first fic of this nature. This is also on my FF account.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Pause On The Threshold</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The light tread on the floorboards took him by surprise, the softness of it ruling out the only other person in the house. The sound did something to him inside, as it did every time this had occurred in the last few weeks. As the patter carried down the hallway, the faint aroma of cigarette smoke betrayed who lingered in the doorway. Remus straightened and awaited the purpose of the visit, but as usual it wasn't forthcoming. He didn't dare turn, worried his sense of hearing had finally tricked him, and he would again be greeted by nothing and left with the hairs stood up on the back of his neck. He made the decision to speak, in a soft voice which was neither a question nor a statement. "Sirius."<br/>"How did you guess?" came the answer, in a thick, playful voice which sounded so familiar. The shock rendered him motionless, and all Remus could do was fixate on the open suitcase laid out in front of him as Sirius sauntered into the room as if it had been his own, which of course, it had.<br/>After swallowing down the unpleasant lump at the back of his throat, he could manage to get out a very quiet, "Please."<br/>Sirius laughed like it was so easy, like it was another one game for him to try and win. Trailing his fingers lazily on the bedspread, he raised his eyebrows at the suggestion. "I'm glad no one's around to hear that."<br/>With eyes still averted, Remus bit down on his final piece of resolution that this conversation wouldn't have to happen, and wondering why the hell he'd even entertained the idea of it. It couldn't be happening. <br/>"I mean it."<br/>"You take everything far too seriously, Remus." Sirius paused in front of the curtains, pulling one back slightly and taking in the summer heat streaming through the bay window. For a moment, Remus stood in the shadow.<br/>"You shouldn't be here." The words came but the tone surprised him, he hadn't expected it to sound as cold at that. But then, the anger made perfect sense. Sirius should've listened to what he was told to do, just for once. But now, they were here.<br/>"This is my house, you clod," Sirius said, turning from the light and taking a seat next to it in the threadbare wing back, "where else would I be?" He swung his crossed legs over the armrest, as if readying for an afternoon nap. The boyish grin was quickly replaced with a frown as he noticed Remus, knuckles white from gripping the suitcase sides so hard. He leant forward a little, intrigued.<br/>"What's the matter?"<br/>"It's just," breathed Remus, hiccoughing a little for the absurdity of his statement, "I can't bring myself to look at you."<br/>"Remus dear, we must stop these loaded statements," Sirius purred, savouring every syllable of his joke, "remember the rumours."<br/>For the first time in weeks, Remus decided to wager his sanity, and dared to glance up, to look directly into this sun. Sirius was looking straight back at Remus, staring at him dead in the eye, and for some ludicrous reason unknown it calmed Remus' nerves a little. Everything looked completely ordinary, from the dust glistening on his leather boots to the bristle of stubble on his chin. It was probably too late for Remus' sanity when the smallest of smiles crept into his cheeks, "you always started them."<br/>"I find," Sirius smirked, sitting back with the confidence now that he had his friend's fullest attention, "you should always have a little mystery about yourself. It's not my fault nobody has an imagination."<br/>A strangled noise escaped Remus, which could've been a laugh, and he felt it wasn't a surprise that his heart was trying to escape his chest, given the situation. He glanced around anxiously waiting for an explanation for this, for all of this, but Sirius was having too much fun to offer up anything. "What do you want?"<br/>"You're still in your mood, then?" mused Sirius, picking absently at some unseen dirt under his fingernail. Remus could hardly believe the question, given the questioner.<br/>"I'd call it a little more than that, wouldn't you?"<br/>"You can't stay angry at me forever, Moony."<br/>"Can't I?"<br/> You've tried that before," Sirius looked up momentarily, for the first time with a touch of sincerity. There was a pang of teenage remorse that registered somewhere inside, but the anger and the frustration that had burnt over from the last time they'd been together began to leak out.<br/>"Somehow, you've managed to top last time. I wouldn't have thought it possible, but here you are," said Remus, raising his arms and gesturing to the absolute impossibility that was the very man sat opposite him. But Sirius wouldn't ever let someone else have the last say, not even now. <br/>"That's what happens when you underestimate me."<br/>"You see?" Remus asked incredulously, "this is what I mean. What am I- I don't even know why I'm talking to you, it's infuriating." He began flinging the last of his shirts and the stray socks into the suitcase, wondering if he really wanted Sirius to leave at all. All he was certain of was that the tears in his eyes were real and threatening to overcome him.<br/>"That's what made it fun," muttered Sirius, crossing his arms like a sulking child whose birthday candles had already been blown out. But Remus didn't want to play this game anymore.<br/>"I'm just going to carry on, and when I'm finished, you'll be gone-"<br/>"Where are you going, anyway?" Sirius stood up suddenly, taking Remus aback. In the moment he forgot that he was trying to ignore Sirius, and stared at him, haloed by the afternoon sun. When he blinked, Sirius' silhouette flashed behind his eyes. Remus took a step back still clutching a pair of socks as Sirius approached, staring down at the suitcase. "It's not a full moon, is it?"<br/>"I'm leaving, we all are. It's not safe here anymore," said Remus, tossing the socks down. Sirius didn't think much to this answer, and shrugged his shoulders as he wandered around the room, looking as bored as usual.<br/>"Was it ever really safe? With that demented elf and the curtains trying to garrot you first thing in the morning." There was a pause as Sirius reached for something unknown by the bedside cabinet, the only noise being Remus' unsteady breath. Closing his eyes, he willed himself to calm down, but knew it was a losing battle by the heartbeat he felt by his shirt collar.<br/>"I don't have long before I have to leave."<br/>He didn't even hear the slightest movement until it was upon him, and flinched as he felt the cold brass frame pressed into his hands "Here," said Sirius, "you forgot this." <br/>Looking down, Remus was greeted by the faces behind the glass, smiling in the same summer sun as if it was taken that very morning. The boys in red with their arms around each other, frozen in glee at a punchline of a long forgotten joke. <br/>"Do you remember our last day of school?" <br/>Remus glanced up, and Sirius was back at the window. He couldn't see what he was looking at, something far off in the distance, or maybe nothing at all. But it didn't matter. He knew that this is why Sirius was here, this was what he needed to hear, but it did nothing to quell his dread.<br/>"Of course."<br/>Sirius looked over his shoulder, "do you remember me saying, 'and now it's time to start living.'"<br/>"Yes," murmured Remus, tearing his eyes from Sirius' profile and returning to the frame, picturing the lake and under the tree, feeling the heat on the back of his neck. Sirius turned back to the window, taking in the sweet breeze like it was his last, and gave the final little push that broke down the walls that Remus had put up since it had happened. "I wish we'd listened."<br/>Sirius didn't react, not when Remus' hands balled into fists, not when the frame dropped onto the bed and the aching anguish that had been held so tightly inside finally broke free. Pressing down on the tears that had come undone, Remus shuddered with that what he'd tried to block out. <br/>"I'm sorry, Sirius, I'm sorry you never had a chance," he spluttered, trying to contain his emotion even now, feeling a failure and knowing he was a madman, " I'm sorry you were in prison all those years and then stuck here and now-"<br/>"It's alright," said Sirius quietly, moving to lean on the windowsill, looking at Remus with a strange emotion in those dark eyes, what could only be described as pity. And that's not what Remus needed to see.<br/>"No it isn't. It isn't Sirius. Because I never said it enough before," sniffed Remus, wanting Sirius to hear this apology, to really hear it for once, and most importantly, accept it. He turned his back as he wiped furiously at his eyes with his cuff, angry at himself for getting upset over whatever this conversation was.<br/>"There's nothing anyone can do about it now, is there?" proffered Sirius, in the same air as someone who'd forgotten their umbrella in a rainstorm. After a moment, Remus looked over his shoulder, still red-eyed and knowing this was his final chance be angry with Sirius.<br/>"Why did you let it happen?"<br/>"I didn't mean to, obviously," shrugged Sirius, shoving his hands in his pockets.<br/>"Why didn't you just do what you were told?" Remus whined, wondering if it sounded as childish out loud as it did in his head.<br/>"I'll tell you why, Remus," said Sirius sharply, with steel in his voice for the first time. He strode around the bed and clasped Remus firmly on the shoulders. Remus took a sharp intake when he made contact, overcome by the warmness of it. "Because I'm a marauder. That's who we are. If we're needed, we go. No matter what."<br/>"No matter what," mumbled Remus, peering through the last of the rogue tears at his last and only friend. Sirius gave a half smile which seemed to promise mischief, and Remus drank it in, trying to remember every misplaced hair and every wrinkle around his eyes, willing it to memory. As he did, he suddenly came to a realisation.<br/>"I think I'm going mad."<br/>Sirius barked with mirth, dropping his hands from Remus' shoulders and breaking the connection. "Why else would you be talking to me?" he answered, spinning around and retaking his spot by the window. He gave Remus a moment to wipe at his eyes before carrying on.<br/>"I need to ask a favour, by the way."<br/>Remus gave a watery chuckle, picturing earlier favours and wondering what could be the natural progression of that. "Of course you do."<br/>"Keep an eye on Harry, will you?" Sirius asked, rather seriously and sounding as older than he was, "there's not much I can do now."<br/>Remus quickly nodded in agreement. "You know I will."<br/>"And Tonks."<br/>Quickly looking up, Remus searched Sirius' face for an explanation. He tried to look as innocent as he could, but with the burn in his cheeks, he knew Sirius had him cornered. "Tonks?"<br/>Sirius jerked his head a little, torn between irked and bemused. "Of course I know. Just keep her safe. You know what these young ones are like these days."<br/>Remus nodded, deciding not to ask how he'd known, if he'd figured out all those furtive glances, seen his new jumper and known who it was meant to impress, or if he'd spotted them underneath the umbrella at the bottom of the steps that time. He wouldn't ask because there wasn't any need anymore. <br/>"Sirius?" <br/>"Remus?" imitated Sirius, shaking his head sideways with the syllables as if trying to ignore the solemnity of it.<br/>"I'm so sorry."<br/>"What for?" Sirius asked, hands back in his pockets.<br/>The breath hitched in Remus' throat, and he heard his voice wavering a little. "That I let you fall."<br/>The sun had suddenly moved behind the clouds, making their scene a little less bright, but the smile on Sirius' face didn't falter. Nodding in agreement that he himself was sorry too, he answered, "It was my own fault, not yours. I was showing off, as usual. You know me. Anyway, it's done now, no point wallowing in it."<br/>Remus nodded too, even though Sirius was asking the impossible of him. He frowned at the floor, then looked and said, "You know, I'm not going to get over this, right?"<br/>Sirius beamed and turned away from him, returning to his gaze out of the window, into the world he couldn't be a part of. "I would expect nothing less."<br/>"Remus? Are you ready?"<br/>The door swung open with a loud creak as Remus span quickly to see Tonks stagger into the room, two battered suitcases under her arms and a summer sheen on her forehead. "We need to get going," she panted, blowing up air to cool her damp fringe. <br/>"Of course," Remus said, slamming the top of his own suitcase down, locking it in place. He tucked the photo frame into the pocket of his cloak which he hung over his arm, sure that it was now his to take. He hoped Tonks would say nothing about his bloodshot eyes, or the constant sniffing he did as he wiped his face with the back of his hand, and thankfully she didn't. She just stood for a moment not knowing where to look, her familiar smile replaced with one look of grief. Remus caught her eye, and she cocked her head to show she was leaving, unable to stay for even another second in the house of a dead man. He understood, and made to follow her, pausing on the threshold to look for the last time in the room that he called his own for the best part of a year. His eyes flicked only for second to the unoccupied window, where the warm air blew in to the empty room, before he slowly closed the door behind him.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>